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Husbands' Unfaithfulness

Published Dec 21, 2005

The heading is not sufficient. It should read, “Why do husbands Disappoint their Savior, Disgrace their church, Destroy their homes, Defame their character, Degrade their wives, Defile their bodies, Denounce their vows, and Devastate their children?” But it sounds better to say they were “unfaithful” or “strayed.”

In our national, anonymous and confidential survey of about 500 Christian homes we discovered that 33 men and 28 women admitted having affairs during their marriage. About half of the men were saved when they broke their marriage vows! Note that there could have been others who refused to admit their affairs.

The lost men explained the reason for the affair was they were “lonely,” “young,” “booze,” “showed an interest,” “desire for sex” and one said, “Like Mt. Everest,” i.e., she was there. I was surprised that so many were “lonely.” Why were they lonely? God said that it is not good for man to be alone. Why were they alone and lonely? Of course, loneliness is no excuse or justification for fornicating.

The Christian men explained their affairs similar to the lost men. They were lonely, the person paid attention to them, they were more understanding (and loving) than the wife and one said that he did it for the “status,” whatever that means. Another man said it was because she wore “scanty clothes.” I suppose the devil made him do it!

While it is true that King David, a man after God’s own heart, committed adultery and murder, there is no justification if a Christian is unfaithful to his wife and his Lord. But if a man like David could fall, then anyone of us could fall.

While it is true that King David, a man after God’s own heart, committed adultery and murder, there is no justification if a Christian is unfaithful to his wife and his Lord. But if a man like David could fall, then anyone of us could fall.

While any man can get involved with a woman and destroy his life, family and ministry, there is no excuse for adultery. And while we will never know the temptations that unfaithful husbands experience, we know they are only “common to man.” We are also promised that none will be tempted above we are able to bear. So, no excuses!

We also need to be wary of self righteousness and arrogance realizing that we must take heed lest we fall. We must not simply say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” but “There, but for the grace of God, could still go I.”

We must settle the question long before the “opportunity” arises or it will be too late. While we are rational we must decide that the urge of the moment can become the scourge of a lifetime. Talk to King David.

I was shocked when a college friend, a song leader at one of the flagship churches of fundamentalism, lost his family, his reputation, and his position because he slept around. I always remembered his tragedy, and realized that it could happen to me, and I tried to never put myself in a position where I would be vulnerable such as being alone with women, hugging them, etc.

Of course, adultery doesn’t have to destroy a home if the couple will work it out according to the Bible. The Word permits divorce after adultery but does not require it.

I traveled alone as an evangelist for many years, without any bad experiences other than a couple of call girls at my motel door. I did have a few women make it clear that they were available, but never any real propositions. So I deserve little praise for being faithful to my wife of 33 years and my present wife of 17 years.  My point is that I’m not to be applauded because I’ve not faced hot-blooded, immediate, definite opportunities to be unfaithful.

A man should not look at porn, watch salacious television, tell or listen to filthy jokes. He should read the Bible, confess sin daily, love and honor his wife and reckon himself dead to sin.

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Comments

4 comment(s) on this page. Add your own comment below.

Marlene Cardoso
Jun 1, 2008 6:19pm [ 1 ]

(Husbands) repent and read this! You destroy many peoples lives with this kind of behavior pattern.

Miss Poppy Dixon
Jun 21, 2008 2:40pm [ 2 ]

It’s refreshing to see a Christian recognize adultery as destructive to marriage, family and society. Churches even allow members to marry after a divorce, which Jesus forbad. Adulterers can marry at City Hall - why drag the church into it? It’s nice to read someone who doesn’t take a cafeteria approach to the Bible.

Ruben Garcia
Sep 24, 2008 1:32pm [ 3 ]

Even though Divorce was permitted It doesn’t mean that it should be done,It was only permitted before the ceremony took place, meaning that the couple was engaged not married. Guys use to give their fiances a certificate of divorce just because they forgot to put salt on their food, besides, Jesus said that God hated divorce, so why do something that God hates.

I come from a divorced home and it is not pretty at all, but if you’d ask my parents they would say that they did it for our own good, because they use to argue all the time, after one of them was unfaithful ……… I’ve forgiven my parents for that, but isn’t that dumb! I believe in the highest form of marriage, that covenant that you make in front of GOD! and I’m not going to lower it just because some people decide to give up on each other.

Daniel
Apr 29, 2011 10:29am [ 4 ]

While the leading cause of divorce remains the result of an unfaithful husband, let us also consider the ever-increasing rate of the women proving to be unfaithful as well. This is not in effort to bash women, but merely to address the obvious. I am currently involved in this very scenario where my wife has chosen (again) to play the role of Gomer and prove to be unfaithful. Furthermore, this is in itself is bad enough with the exception of the unfaithful wife removing the kids from the home as well. There are faithful men out there who are suffering as well.

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