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Should Grandparents Spoil Grandkids?

Man, am I on dangerous ground now! You can mess with a man or woman’s personal life, financial life, spiritual life, but don’t mess around with the grandkids! Well, I’m going to do some “messing” around today.

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Man, am I on dangerous ground now! You can mess with a man or woman’s personal life, financial life, spiritual life, but don’t mess around with the grandkids! Well, I’m going to do some “messing” around today.

I love my thirteen grandchildren, scattered from California to Arizona to Illinois, to Indiana, to Florida, but I always determined that I would treat them the same as I did my own children. If not, am I not saying that I treated my own children wrongly? Now where I failed my own children, I am willing to correct that with my grandchildren as I have the opportunity.

I love my thirteen grandchildren…. but I always determined that I would treat them the same as I did my own children. If not, am I not saying that I treated my own children wrongly?

Many grandparents say they have a “right” to spoil their grandchildren, and I am sure that many don’t really mean that. But many are doing just that.

Grandparents should not permit grandchildren to take over the home when they come to visit. They should not “put up things” so the little rascals won’t break them. Why not teach them to leave things alone? Of course, that will take time, patience and some things will get broken, but it is worth it if the little dears get trained.

What happens if the parents don’t want the children to be corrected? Do it anyway if they are your responsibility for a few days.

Should a grandparent spank a grandchild? Of course, you love him or her don’t you? God loves us and spanks us when we do wrong, so shouldn’t a grandparent do the same if he has the same motivation?

But what if the parents permit them to throw a ball in the house, climb on beds, open drawers, etc. No problem. Just tell them that they aren’t home! These are YOUR house rules.

Many grandparents feel compelled to always purchase items for the grand-children that are the same or equal in value, but children are different and should be treated differently—although favoritism should not be permitted.

My wife and I will not take a gift to the other grandchildren simply because another one has a birthday. It is not everyone’s birthday. It is his or hers. Why not teach children that they should rejoice in the good fortune of a brother or sister?  Why teach them to be selfish and self-centered?

Grandparents are older than their children (awesome!) so they should have learned from mistakes and there is a tendency toward mellowing as one gets older. While that is good, it can also be bad. Mellow also means “soft,” and most grandparents get “soft” toward their grandchildren.

Many grandparents also experience guilt at the way they treated their own children: too harsh, little time spent with them, not much money, etc., so they try to “make it up” to their grandchildren—to their determent.

Some grandparents feel a need to “purchase” the love of a grandchild by spending money, little discipline, etc.

Grandparents also are often afraid that they will antagonize their children if they get tough with the grandkids so they walk softly and don’t carry a “big stick.” Or a little stick. That isn’t love.

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