Your point is totally understood when a child is having a birthday, NO, of course you don’t bring the other grandchildren presents. That’s just not fair to the grandchild who is having the birthday and it total takes the excitement and experience of enjoyment of the birthday away from the grandchild if you did that. Every grandchild has their own birthday and until its their turn they don’t get a present before that.

As for disciplining the grandchild you can take away privileges or simply just call the parent to come pick up their child and end the visit as a form of punishment. Don’t ever hit your grandchild. As for those grandparents who antagonize their grandchildren, that is abuse and those grandparents need to stop, especially when they had been instructed by the parent that it is unacceptable. Some times grandchildren throw temper tantrums and the more you bother a child when they are in that state only makes it worst. Wait until the child has calm down then explain to them. Today I encountered a situation with my mother and my children. We were are the park enjoying our day then out of the blue one child throws sand into their siblings face. So the mother decided to end the day at the park and take everyone home this being the punishment for misbehaving. (By leaving the park). The child began throwing a fit and the grandmother started saying stuff to the grandchild making the child become even more upset. The mother instructs the grandmother to just pick him up and bring him to the car and not to say anything else to the child. After everyone in the vehicle as the mother starts driving then grandmother starts antagonizing her grandchild making the child become extremely upset making it a very dangerous situation as the mother trying to drive the mother tells the grandmother to please leave her child alone and let him calm down the more you say to him the more upset he just gonna get. Then the grandmother responds I say what ever I want to him when I want. This is very unacceptable behaviour on part of the grandparent when a parent has clearly instructed the grandparent not to do something. The grandparent crosses the line. What the grandmother was saying to the grandchild was “your really gonna get it when you get home your mother really gonna give it to you”. And other things similar to that effect. This really was a form of installing fear into their grandchild into believing that their parent would harm them which is a form of abuse this type of behaviour from a grandparent is unacceptable that this grandmother was doing and it really upset the mother also because she does not hurt her children and doesn’t want her children to ever have that fear. Then when they got to the grandparent’s home the grandparent had the nerve to get mad at the mother. It things like this that make people not want to have the grandparents around or seen on a regular basis. There’s also another thing that a grandparent should never do which is interfere with the raising of their grandchild because everyone is entitled and has the right to raise their child/ren their own way. Just like the grandparents had their turn when they were once parents they need to learn to step back and let the parents raise their children without interference. It’s ok to give suggestions and it’s not ok to force them onto a parent. Remember you’re just the grandparent, you already had your turn in being a parent so stop trying to deprive your child from having their turn at parenting. Also just because your way is not their way, you shouldn’t be getting upset. If anything you should just be happy to be there and the less interference and stress you cause the parents the better the relationship will be for everyone. I hope this sheds some light and I hope the grandparents really start to understand it’s not that parents don’t want them in their lives, it’s just the parents don’t have to put up with over bearing controlling bossy grandparents. Parents have the right to be able to raise their children the way that they see is best fit for their own children just like you got to do.

Thank you